When I first heard that Jaylen Brown was appearing on a podcast with Daniel Radcliffe, it barely registered. This despite my dual identity as both an NBA junkie and Harry Potter dad (my 9-year-old is obsessed).
And then came the quote.
“I’m Slytherin, bro.”
Perhaps no player in the world’s most drama-riddled league has been more dramatic of late than Brown, between the offseason trade and subsequent fallout. And if anyone can appreciate drama, it’s the aforementioned Radcliffe, who in addition to starring as Harry Potter, is a renowned stage thespian.
MORE: Jaylen Brown admits there is conflict with former teammate Jayson Tatum
Naturally, Brown then took to sorting his Sixers teammates into Hogwarts Houses. Because, why not, I guess?
Jaylen Brown sorting his Sixers teammates into Hogwarts Houses is as good as you think it will be 🤣 @fanduel https://t.co/AXGc6Zh7mO
— TheOldManAndTheThree (@OldManAndThree) October 29, 2026
But why stop there?
My head immediately went to making rosters, simulating an NBA Triwizard Cup, and so much more. And though we’ll save that for another day, I did want to make sure the very specific niche crowd of Harry Potter NBA fans got their fill.
I present the NBA Sorting Hat, where you decide which player belongs in which house. Ridiculous? Of course. Necessary? Absolutely.
For what its worth, I did come up with my own starting fives for each of the houses.
- Gryffindor: Mike Conley, Steph Curry, Jrue Holiday, LeBron James, Steven Adams
- Hufflepuff: LaMelo Ball, Mikal Bridges, Kyle Kuzma, Brook Lopez, Joel Embiid
- Ravenclaw: Tyrese Haliburton, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Alex Caruso, Al Horford, Nikola Jokic
- Slytherin: James Harden, Jaylen Brown, Jimmy Butler, Draymond Green, Isaiah Stewart
If the people really want full explanations and breakdowns, there is far more where that came from. Just let me know!
